Tag Archives: conflict mediation

The Every Day Hero’s Job is Speaking Up

I suppose the whole message of my “It’s OK” books is simply about speaking up. Speaking up when something’s wrong. Speaking up directly child-to-child when a child doesn’t like something. Speaking up when the culture is at odds with what’s … Continue reading

Posted in Parenting with Renegade Rules | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments Off on The Every Day Hero’s Job is Speaking Up

Comments are closed.

Making Room for Justice

What would you say if you saw a group of eight 1st and 2nd grade boys excluding a girl from their running game? Possibly this: Sexism. Girls discriminated against. Our adult minds leap to what seems obvious. We might sigh … Continue reading

Posted in Parenting with Renegade Rules | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

2 Responses to Making Room for Justice

  1. Meghan Owenz says:

    Love this! I call it “natural consequences.” Children learn from natural consequences if adults don’t step in and stop them from happening. The little girl’s behavior had a natural consequence – the children didn’t want to play with her any longer. I bet she learned from it too.

  2. Excellent observation. I’m amazed that everything you say about raising children is 100% common sense and based on how children see their world, not an adult’s interpretation of a child’s world.

Kids Need Conflict

Kids don’t learn about peace by singing about it.  Kids learn peace skills by having problems. My mentor Jan Waters taught me that.  Kids also don’t learn peace skills by coloring “Friends” handouts or by signing their names at the … Continue reading

Posted in Parenting with Renegade Rules | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

7 Responses to Kids Need Conflict

  1. Emily says:

    I like to think of myself as a conflict welcomer but my husband is definitely a conflict dodger! I sometimes wonder what it will be like when we have children of our own.

    I always appreciate your perspective and the insight you bring to working with young people!

    Many thanks,


    • Heather Shumaker says:

      Sometimes helping young kids through a conflict can help us adults learn to face our own conflicts, rather than dodging them. It’s really the same steps – no matter what the age. My hope is that your family will gain courage in the conflict department as you model the steps for kids. A rising tide lifts all boats!

  2. wanderingsue says:

    Heather, I am loving your book. Thanks ever so much.

  3. Pingback: Family Bonds are Important | Live Fit and Sore

  4. Celine says:

    Heather, I just wanted to say thank you for your input about the subject. I have read so many books about parenting and disappointingly, most of them recommend to ignore bickering, tattling, or any sort of argument between kids, unless of course one is in a danger. Of course, it is the easy option, but is it really the way froward? So far your book is the only one I have read to recommend conflict mediation and explain how it works. I was delighted to see that Dr Laura Markham had an interview with you. I certainly hope to see more people talk about your work 🙂

    • Heather Shumaker says:

      Celine, thanks for your kind words and so glad you’ve found the book helpful for conflict mediation. Some people like the law of the jungle, but like you, I think we can do better. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and stopping by!